Yesterday wasn’t a very good day for me. I was infected with a nasty case of “The Monday’s”, even if it waited ‘til Tuesday to take effect.
Day’s like yesterday make me think of Judith Viorst’s children’s book, Alexander’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, and the seemingly cynical conclusion of the book, when Alexander’s mom declares, “Some days are like that.” I may prefer to hear Daniel Pewter sing his empathetic refrain, “so you had a bad day” over and over again, but what Alexander’s mom lacks in compassion she makes up for with candor.
Some days really are just terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. It’s absolutely true.
They are sometimes made worse by how well they start before derailing. I got into a quiet office yesterday, opened my bible and spent some extended time in the Scriptures and prayer, like every good pastor should do. I was feeling encouraged, peaceful and at rest. Then the phone rang and I answered it, filled with the Spirit.
I was reminded to take care of a couple things during the day that were somewhat time sensitive, so when I got off the phone, I immediately started on them which required an internet connection. As I got my computer up and running to access the internet, other people started arriving at the office, which should be acceptable because they work here too, but the quiet seal was officially broken. The internet was unresponsive to both my initial attempts and the subsequent trouble shooting steps normally taken, which we all know means that the Holy Spirit was no longer having His way in me.
There is an aura of disorder in our office space, with boxes, books and files everywhere because we are moving this weekend. People have graciously volunteered to help do some packing in preparation for the move and so more folks were arriving as my previously enjoyed internal peace was leaving.
Amidst the increasing activity I received an unexpected phone call from a contractor coming to fix a few things on the house we rent. Because I couldn’t get online at the office, I decided to go let him in the house and do some work at home where it was peaceful and quiet.
Because Jesus loves me and wanted me to realize I have issues, the internet was not working there either. Somehow, even though I could search the internet on my iPhone, I could not access or send email. As I had done at the office, I spent considerable time troubleshooting the modem, the wireless router, rebooting my computer and talking gently, patiently and lovingly to Comcast representatives, all to no avail. Having watched the last couple of hours waste away with no progress or productivity, I was growing increasingly capable of unspeakable evil.
By this time, Betsy had returned home with two of the kids, and with neither “peace and quiet” nor internet access, I less-than-graciously huffed my way out of there and back to the office where I could squander my next hour or so before going to meet someone an hour away. I would love to say that all kinds of horrible people did terrible things to me the rest of the day, thereby justifying in your mind, and mine, my lousy attitude. The truth is, at that point, I had put on a shiny pair of glasses with lenses of self-absorption and self-pity through which I was seeing everything. I got home at 8 when I told my wife I’d be there at 7. We went through our bed time routine with the kids and I immersed myself back in the world of wireless routers. My internal temperature rose again until a more technical savvy friend called me and managed to walk me through fixing the problem, restoring access to the internet and the Holy Spirit.
I had not acknowledged my late arrival home, my short fuse or my bad attitude to Betsy and she gently reminded me of that as we laid down to go to sleep. I didn’t want to accept responsibility for having allowed my bad day to impact her day so much. By the time I mustered up the decency to apologize, I was speaking to sleeping wife.
I fell asleep in a frustrated and defeated state which translated to a cranky start to Wednesday. As I got ready to go work, I was acknowledging to the Lord that I was “out of sorts” and I don’t know what to do to make sure a wasted day doesn’t become a wasted week. And then I thought of Ephesians 1:3-4, Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.
I was a disaster yesterday. I was an unholy, guilty, sinful mess. Yet the defining reality of my life is that I was chosen before the foundations of the world to be holy and blameless in God’s sight. As God watched me unravel yesterday he didn’t see me as a pathetic, short-tempered, impatient, unproductive failure. He didn’t see me as a proud and arrogant, self-absorbed, frustrated and fruitless waste of grace. God looked at me, not before or after, but during my ridiculous day, and he saw me clothed in Christ and declared me to be holy, even in the midst of my unholiness, and to be blameless, even in the face of my guilt.
Whether I really experience a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day or just have an imperfect day with a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad attitude, there are some days I just want to forget. But forgetting my guilt is not as important as remembering the gospel.
I wasn’t chosen to be in Christ in anticipation of my reasonable response to technical difficulties on a Tuesday in January. I wasn’t granted forgiveness for my sin because I would be productive every day at work. I wasn’t adopted as God’s son because He knew I would treat His daughter perfectly.
I was chosen to be in Christ, Ephesians says, for God’s good pleasure so that He might be praised for His glory and grace. On my best days, God displays His glory through His grace that has changed a sinner like me. On my worst days, God displays His glory by His grace that covers a sinner like me. His glory is displayed in both His power to make me new, and in His patience with me when I cling to the old. My position before Him remains unaffected by my performance for Him. That’s good news on a bad day.
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